In which I am almost a social worker, mention necrophilia (with help from some evangelical Christians), and discuss zombies, both gay and otherwise

Hello again.

So the good news is that I've finished my last assignment for grad school... which means that I should have much more time to update this thing... since otherwise, I have no idea how I'm going to fill the many evenings ahead. The bad news is that it also means that, in less than a week, I'll officially be a social worker.

Honestly, I have rather mixed feelings about the whole situation. As many of you know, I don't particularly have any real desire to be a social worker, which is why I'm currently thinking law school is in my near future (though the Antisocial Lawyer doesn't really have quite the same ring to it. Insert your own lawyer joke here). But I will say that, if you'll allow me one moment to step back from the usual crankiness and misanthropy, I've met some of the greatest people of my life in social work school. And I'm gonna miss them, as they leave both me and this town for bigger and better things.

Anyways. On to the usual shit.

***

The Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act (aka the Matthew Shepard Act) is wending its way through Congress. Last week, it passed the House of Representatives, and now heads to the Senate. Obama has said, repeatedly, that he'll sign such legislation.

So the bill looks like it actually might pass and, you know, help to protect the queers. If you're thinking that would be a good thing, well... you're wrong. At least according to a fantastic organization, Faith2Action. (You know you're a classy group when your name looks like something a Jonas Brothers fan would text. I'm surprised they didn't decide to name it "F8h2Action, OMG LOL Gossip Girl ROKS!!!")

So F2A (as all the cool kids like to call it) has its underwear in a wad over the legislation, for several completely non-insane reasons. Let's go through them together, shall we?

1) Did you know that this legislation would make pedophiles a protected class? It's true! Read about it here, in F2A's handy two-page "fact" sheet. In a nutshell, the argument goes that because the legislation mentions the term "sexual orientation"... and pedophile is evidently a type of sexual orientation... well, you don't need me to connect the dots here. But wait! There's more! Not only would pedophiles become a protected class, but so would: those who commit incest (I didn't know that was a sexual orientation, but if you can't trust the F2A, who can you trust?), necrophiliacs, zoophiliacs (bestiality), and coprophiliacs (I'm gonna let y'all look up that one on your own), amongst others. F2A's lead (only?) employee, Janice Porter, has even decided to rename the act: the "Pedophile Protection Act." Has a catchy ring to it, no? I always wonder, in situations like this one, if these people actually believe that this is what's going to happen? Or are they just so good at lying, so used to spreading misinformation that this kind of nonsense just comes naturally to them? Yes, scare tactics work... again and again... but aren't we getting to a point where this kind of thing just sounds ridiculous? Besides... you would think that a religious organization would think twice about using pedophilia as a weapon, considering what a lot of people think of when the subject comes up.

2) Hey, did you know that "pushing away an unwelcome advance of a homosexual, transgendered, cross-dresser or exhibitionist could make you a felon under this law"? It's true, at least according to Janice Porter. Two thoughts here: First, I rather enjoy the idea that this woman thinks that if a gay hits on a heterosexual, the heterosexual will have to give in to the gay's sexual advances or be guilty of a hate crime. I, for one, think my dating life would improve greatly if this were the case, though it seems like it'd be a difficult thing to enforce. Perhaps all the queers will be issued Hate Crime Air Horns™ for whenever someone turns us down for a date? Which leads to Thought B, which is actually a bit scary. Perhaps Porter is not using the term "pushing away" figuratively, but rather literally. Does she actually think that someone rebuffing the advances of a queer is justified in inflicting physical harm on her/him? Though it may seem unlikely, I have a hard time giving someone who spews so much hate and vitriol the benefit of the doubt. So in advance... bite me, Porter.

3) I'm kind of cheating with this one because it's actually written by someone from WorldNetDaily, but Porter mentions this argument in the article linked in reason #2, so I'm including it. So, by now, we all know that the Matthew Shepard Act would create a "special class for homosexuals and others with alternative sexual lifestyles." And that's bad enough. But what's even worse, evidently, is that the Act has NO protections for "other targeted classes of citizens such as pastors, Christians, missionaries, veterans and the elderly." This is, of course, a huge oversight by the writers of the legislation. As we all know, pastors are constantly assaulted verbally, attacked, and killed, just because they happen to be a pastor. Is this argument for real? Seriously? Not only is it ridiculous, it completely ignores the fact that OF COURSE RELIGION IS INCLUDED AS A PROTECTED CLASS. But unless the legislation mentions Christians by name, it's not good enough? How is that not creating a "special class" for people?!? Even better, I left out the beginning of the linked quote. The actual text from the article reads: "It SPECIFICALLY (emphasis added) denies such protections to other targeted classes of citizens such as pastors, Christians, missionaries, veterans and the elderly." You see that? Now, I had a hard time believing that the legislation went out of its way to specifically deny these protections to those individuals. That it actually said something along the lines of: "These protections are specifically NOT VALID for pastors and Christians and veterans, and etc." But then I went and looked at the bill, and, dammit, it does. Oops. My bad.

***

So in case you haven't heard, the School Violence Prevention Act (aka the anti-bullying bill) passed its 2nd reading in the NC Senate today, 25-22. The final vote in the Senate will be tomorrow. The bill would standardize all bullying policies in public schools in NC and specifically prohibit bullying based on a list of enumerated categories, including sexual orientation and gender identity. If it passes in the Senate tomorrow, it'll move to the House... and if it passes there, it'll be the first piece of legislation ever passed by the NC General Assembly that includes the words "sexual orientation" and "gender identity." Baby steps, right?

Well, the Family Policy Council of North Carolina, an offshoot of Focus on the Family, is, as you might imagine, not happy with this recent development. They've issued a Web Alert!!!, urging people to call their senators and voice disapproval of the legislation. Why are they so upset about it? You would think that an organization that purports to uphold "family values" would be all in favor of protecting kids in school, right?

Nope. Not even a little. Their problem? "This would establish a statewide policy that affirms homosexuality, bisexuality, cross-dressing and other related behaviors as normal and acceptable." Because we should, in no way, tell our LGBT children that they're normal or acceptable. Certainly not. Instead, we should continue to tell them that they're disgusting perverts whose thoughts and actions are sins against God. And that they could change who they are, if only they tried hard enough. And that they should continue to be marginalized. And, tacitly, that they DESERVE to be bullied in schools, because maybe, just maybe, if they're bullied enough, they'll recognize the errors of their ways. Because that never ends badly.

If you live in North Carolina and are able, call your state senator tomorrow and ask them to support the School Violence Prevention Act. If you don't know who your legislator is, you can find out here.

***

This has turned out to be a somewhat lengthy post, so we'll just tackle one more before calling it a night. A dead man suspected of being a queer (while alive, natch) has twice been dug up from his grave in Senegal. It seems that the locals don't want a gay man hanging around. Even a dead one.

The first time they dug up his body, they left it near the grave. His family reburied the man, only to see the body dug up again and "dumped outside the family house." He has since been buried again, away from the cemetery in question.

How ridiculous is this? Everyone knows that you need a live host to catch "the gay." (I don't mean to make light of a disturbing and disgusting story. Honestly though, this is so over-the-top, I don't know how else to react.)

The only other thing I can think of is that the Senegal locals are so scared of a) zombies and b) super gay zombies that they couldn't sleep at night until the body was moved.

(By the by, I had never heard of that movie either, until I Googled "gay zombie" to find a link to put there. (Yes, I care about your enjoyment of this blog so much, dear readers, that I'm willing to Google things for you.) I'm gonna have to check it out, I think, even though it looks completely and utterly awful.)

***

Speaking of zombies (nice segue, right?), I finally got my hands on Pride and Prejudice and Zombies today. In case you haven't heard of it, or heard me talking about it, it's a novel that tells the exact story of Pride and Prejudice... but with zombies too! Here's a review.

Until next time (which, again... should hopefully be sooner than later)...

Cheers.

In which I mention Jesus twice, get overwhelmed by hate crimes, talk about good vs. evil, and actually share some hopeful news

Hello again!

So since I've evidently completely stopped doing schoolwork... and since the empty, fruitless search for a job is slowly killing my spirit... I thought I'd write another blog post.

Let's delve in, shall we?

So, on the Facebook, I've occasionally written about the American Family Association (AFA) and their ridiculous boycotts of various companies (i.e. McDonald's, Campbell's Soup) they think are supporting the gays. The interesting thing about their boycotts is that they're not asking companies to support their side or opinions... no, they just want the companies to "remain neutral in the culture war." I have to say that it seems like a pretty desperate state of affairs if the best argument you can muster is "You don't have to side with me... just don't side with them." I wonder when they decided that asking companies to support them and their batshit insane beliefs wasn't working? (Scroll down in the article to discover how schools are now teaching fisting to high school students!) (And not this type of fisting.)

Anyway. The AFA is now targeting Pepsi for donating some money to the HRC and PFLAG. And for being a member of the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. And for "forcing" employees to attend sexual orientation and gender identity diversity seminars (Because God forbid we learn to tolerate and accept each other? Jesus would be appalled at such a notion, I'm sure). They even have a Facebook Causes page! (What cracks me up most about the Causes page is that it's listed under "Public Advocacy- Civil Rights and Liberties"... although, to be fair, I suppose it does have something to do with civil rights, insomuch as they're trying to prevent a group from having any.)

Sadly for all of us, the AFA seems to have learned a lesson from their boycott of McDonald's... that it's best not to post the comments of their supporters, because they sound like absolute lunatics. Don't believe me? Check out this article, which prints some of the best of them.

It remains to be seen if the AFA can bring down the lavender menace that is the Pepsi Corporation (after all... when I think of gay, I think Pepsi. Yep. It goes Pepsi, sodomy, rainbows... in that order). But it should be amusing, at least.

***

Two gay men in Oregon were attacked and beaten unconscious by a group of men who called them fags.

That one's just the tip of the iceberg though. There's been so many hate crimes (and updates of hate crimes) in the last week or so that I just don't have the time or energy to comment on all of them. Which is saying something. So instead, I'm just going to link to this comprehensive roundup found on Towleroad and attempt to resist the Huckabee-bashing I'm so fond of engaging in.

Ah, screw it. Bite me, Huckabee.

***

I'm often accused of being a tad too depressing, so here's some hopeful news. A group in Gainesville, Florida tried to repeal the city's anti-discrimination policy, which prohibited discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. The measure was placed on the ballot, and the group advocating the repeal was responsible for one of the most reprehensible tv ads I've ever seen.

The good news? On Tuesday, the ballot measure was rejected. And not just rejected. SOUNDLY rejected. Almost 60% of voters refused to buy into the fear-mongering and thinly veiled homo/transphobia behind the measure.

Go Gainesville. At least the 60% or so who aren't bigots, I guess.

***

The undergrad queer group at UNC-Chapel Hill, in conjunction with the Young Democrats, decided to put on a production of Prop 8: The Musical. I'm not quite sure why or for what, but what the hell? Let's go with it.

If you never saw the original, you totally should. So the performance went on, and it inspired a letter to the editor in the DTH. Really inspired stuff. If you want a sneak preview, it includes lines like this: "If this play had treated any other religion the way it treated Christianity, there would be riots by the same arrogant bunch that put on this moronic musical."

I'm tempted to use this as fodder for my theory that UNC isn't nearly as liberal of a place as it likes to pretend, but I also know that cranky religious bigots exist everywhere. (By the by, the author of the letter is an Economics major (and, judging from his "Chairman Obama" comment (seriously), a Republican)... and I just have to ask... how are those Republican economics working out for us? As mentioned, I'm having no problem trying to find a job. It's awesome.)

***

My sister lives in Delaware.

Two pieces of legislation have been introduced in the Delaware state legislature: one, a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage... the other, a non-discrimination act that includes sexual orientation (it seems like gender identity isn't included... because why should transgender individuals get any protection?).

It's the exact same peculiar situation that's happening right now in NC: at the same time some are seeking to protect the rights of the gays, others are trying to take them away. And I just wonder... do the legislators fail to see the irony in all of this? Because it amuses me to make somewhat mundane things into things that are wildly grandiose, I like to think of this kind of situation as a battle for the soul of the state. Good vs. Evil, and all that.

Unfortunately, evil usually wins this fight. In the name of Jesus.

More irony.

***

Lastly.

I know this has been kicking around for a couple days but...

Where the Wild Things Are is an awesome, awesome book. And when I heard they were turning it into a movie, I was kind of nervous. How could it possibly work (even with an awesome director like Spike Jonze behind it)?

Well, the trailer came out... and it's completely fantastic.

I officially can't wait.

Cheers.